I'd Rather
by Amber Moon
Summary: A pretty song fic about Inuyasha and Kagome wanting the same thing but each too shy to ask


Title: I'd Rather  
  
Author: Raspberry Goddez (@yahoo.com)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own diddly. *weep sob weep*  
  
Notes: This...I dunno...for some reason I believe this wasn't one of my best but other times (in a better mood) I like this sappy fic a lot...I guess it depends what mood you are in, right  
  
  
  
I'd Rather  
  
Kagome watched Inuyasha silently, and scrunched her face in frustration. She looked down again and started scribbling furiously in her journal, obvious pent-up frustration and anger coming out of her faster than she could write.  
  
'I just wish that...I don't know...sometimes I feel like I'm just his stupid shard detector and there's nothing special about me...I'm so frustrated at times. Actually, all I would ask for is to just be his friend, anything more than that would be a miracle...but sometimes I want... What do I want? I want Inuyasha to notice that I'm someone, someone worth while, a woman. It'll never happen though...' she wrote sadly, her features softening into sadness and her eyes taking on a glistening look. She realized she was about to cry and she sniffed quietly and berated herself.  
  
'Baka! Get over it...it's not that important...is it?'  
  
/I could be your sister, I could be your mother  
  
We could be friends, I'd even be your brother  
  
But I'd rather be your lover/  
  
'What's wrong with me? Is it because I look like Kikyo? Or... am I really just a shard detector to him? Nothing more, nothing less...' She thought and wrote at the same time her brows scrunched together in concentration and trying to ignore the "problem" sitting near her currently.  
  
/I don't know where I stand with you/  
  
Kagome looked up at him again and caught him staring at her intently; his golden eyes warm yet intent with some hidden emotion. Her cheeks turned a faint red and she averted her eyes quickly, as if she hadn't meant to look at him just then. He continued staring at her as if puzzled and he was.  
  
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Inuyasha stared at Kagome, completely miffed and puzzled beyond belief. 'What is it with that girl? One minute she's all happy and the next she's pissed at me. I can never please her...I try and give her time off for her "homework" but she can be such a bitch...and everyone says I'm a jerk when she's not around...I just wish I could say the right things at the right time. I try to be understanding but whenever I say something it comes out grough and wrong... Females...they're too hard to understand at times...'  
  
"Feh..."  
  
/I don't know what I mean to you  
  
The only thing I know is I dream of you/  
  
He grimaced as he remember how she had turned her eyes away from his in mere seconds after meeting his by "chance" or as she had tried to make it seem. His claws instinctively flexed and gouged into the tree, leaving deep scars in the tree's bark. He looked at her again, his eyes roaming over her, taking in all her soft features and his grip on the poor tree lightened considerably. His keen nose sniffed the air and caught little wisps of her familiar scent, putting his entire body more at ease. He knew it was true that whenever she was gone he was a complete jerk to everyone in their group. Or if he wasn't in a foul mood, he was depressed, subconsciously missing her presence and warm aura.  
  
/And all that I know [all that I know]  
  
Is I just don't understand [just don't  
  
understand]  
  
Why my, mmmm, happiness always lies  
  
In the palm of your hand/  
  
He sighed audibly and turned his gaze back at Kagome, his eyes soft and a slight upturn in the corners of his mouth. He thought of all the nights that he lay in various trees watching her sleep peacefully with Shippou curled up next to her in her sleeping bag. He wanted so much to just be in Shippou's position, lying next to her and breathing in her scent, feeling her warmth surround him like a comforting blanket. He just wanted to hold her when she was sad and say the right things at the right time. He wanted her to want him.  
  
He shook his head sadly and berated himself for not be able to say what he wanted to Kagome, not being able to do anything that mattered to her.  
  
/I could be your sister, I could be your mother  
  
We could be friends, I'd even be your brother  
  
But I'd rather be your lover/  
  
He jumped down from his tree, his mind pacing frantically ahead of him and making plans with each step that he took towards her. He resolved he would tell her how he felt and take things from there.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Kagome didn't even hear Inuyasha jump down from his resting place and begin walking towards her. Only when he was but two feet from her she happened to look up and was startled out of her reverie.  
  
He looked down at her, his golden eyes staring straight into her and he fidgeted, the words he had prepared leaving his head and leaving him speechless. They stared at each other for several moments, letting the wind fill in the empty space and awkwardness between them.  
  
She stared up at him, shocked at first at his abruptness but forced herself to come over her speechlessness and shrug her earlier feelings away. She forced a smile onto her face and patted the ground next to her, saying "Come sit with me Inuyasha. You obviously have something on your mind and want to share it."  
  
/Sometimes I know what you're thinking next/  
  
He nodded his head in assent and sat down to her, grateful that she had broken the brief silence between them.  
  
/But wouldn't it better if I loved you less?/  
  
He sighed audibly and waited for her to make another move but when it was obvious that she was waiting for him to speak, he scrunched his face in concentration, searching for the right words and hoping that they would come soon.  
  
"Kagome...What do you think of me?" He blurted out, all previous ideas gone with the wind.  
  
"Nani?" She exclaimed.  
  
Roughly, "You heard me..."  
  
She smarted at the tone in his voice and felt somewhat hurt. He immediately felt sorry for sounding so rough. "Gomen...I didn't mean it like that. I just-"  
  
"I know what you meant and I heard what you said. Besides, I'm just your stupid shard detector, aren't I? Nothing more, nothing less..." She whispered sadly. His keen ears picked this entire statement.  
  
His ears flattened and he scowled at his groughness earlier. 'How can I be so stupid? Every time I mess up when I simply want to tell her how I feel...'  
  
/Sometimes I think that I made you up  
  
But wouldn't it be better if I gave you up?/  
  
He looked at her and saw the grief etched onto her face, all forced happiness gone. She was obviously struggling not to cry in front of him and he mentally slapped himself. How could he be so mean to the one he cared about the most? With a deep breathe, he forced all of his anxiety and fear of rejection aside and looked at her, saying "I...I care about you Kagome. More than I show sometimes...more than I say..."  
  
/Can't you see, I need you beside me  
  
Don't you see, I want you to want me/  
  
Kagome looked up at him, completely shocked beyond words and belief. He continued "Every time we talk...we always end up fighting and it's because of me. I never mean to make you cry but whenever I try and say something...it comes out wrong and you hate me."  
  
/Are you surprised?/  
  
She lifted her head up to meet his eyes and she found him looking down at his hands which were currently fidgeting and clasped tightly together. She reached out gently and lifted his head up to meet her gaze. She stared straight into his golden eyes, and he stared into her gray ones. Kagome found what she had been looking for. What he said was true and honest, no lying, no games, simple and sweet. He meant what he had said.  
  
Kagome continued looking at him and wet her lips, saying with some difficulty and hesitation "I want..."  
  
/Tell me whatch-ya want, tell me whatch-ya need  
  
Tell me whatch-ya want, tell me whatch-ya need/  
  
She broke off and looked at him silently, wondering if what she was about to do was reasonable or not. 'To hell with reason, I want this...I want him.'  
  
In a rush she said "I want you and if you don't want me I'll understand-"  
  
"I want you too Kagome."  
  
/I, I betcha I, I give you whatch-ya need/  
  
With the words still hanging in the air, encasing the two in their truth and solemnity, bringing them closer than words could describe, he quietly leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. His arms moved forward as well, wrapping themselves around her body and bringing her closer.  
  
Kagome let go of herself and all past differences and kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his lips against hers.  
  
He felt her react to the kiss and smiled inwardly, happy that he had done the right thing for once.  
  
She put her arms around him as well and hugged him close, long after the kiss had ended. She whispered into his ears "Thank you Inuyasha."  
  
/Are you surprised? Are you?/  
  
The end 


End file.
